Q and A Time

I’m a big fan of Q & A posts/articles. So to mix things up, I thought this entry could have a different feel to it. Here are some of the questions we get sometimes. Let me know what you think of this format. 

Did Joy have any other symptoms besides a fever before being diagnosed with leukemia? 

No, not really. Looking back, she was a little more tired than usual at times but nothing too extreme. We knew something was up when she couldn't kick a fever after multiple days. On day 5, we took her to the pediatrician who thought it was probably a virus. But 5 more days passed and her fever kept getting higher, so we returned to the pediatrician and she ordered a blood test.

What caused her leukemia? 

We will never know. That first night in the ER, I remember the oncologist saying, "There is nothing you guys did or did not do that resulted in this." 

I was super careful when pregnant--even to the point of not standing in front of a microwave while it was on, things like that. She was breastfed until just two months prior to her diagnosis. She actually was our healthiest baby. She never even had a runny nose until this happened.

Does leukemia run in your family? 

I did have an 11-year-old second cousin who passed away from leukemia. She had acute myeloid leukemia. Some research suggests it can run in families, but it's very rare for that to happen.

How are the boys doing? 

They are troopers. Sometimes they have to pack up and 'do school' at my parents' house while Jordan and I bring Joy to her appointments. At home, they boys will play with her and tell her how much they love her. Occasionally, Ian will wonder why Joy gets so many presents and cards while he doesn't, lol. (He has epilepsy--well controlled absence seizures.) But overall, the boys are handling things the best they can. In fact, Ian and his good friend are planning a fundraiser selling Joy bracelets to raise money for a local organization that helps families dealing with cancer.

How are you and Jordan doing? 

We have good days and bad days. I tend to experience a bit more anxiety than Jordan and have had a few instances where I've hyperventilated. I am the one that primarily goes to all of her appointments because they only allow one parent now. Joy's screaming and crying gets to me, and I just feel so helpless. This is teaching me how fragile life is and that I need to fully trust God. Absolutely nothing about this is in our control.

How are you coping? 

We cope in a variety of ways. I listen to a lot of worship music. I'll post the playlist below. The lyrics really speak to what I'm going through. We have a huge support system. It seems texts or cards or phone calls or even garbage bags will arrive just at the right time when we need them.

I've heard that in times of crisis, God becomes real. Not that He wasn't real earlier, but when life is going smoothly, we often forget to look for Him and seek Him with our whole hearts. I've had some raw conversations with God. I've also just sat in silence with Him because I don't even know what to say or what to feel. 

Watching your child suffer through cancer ranks right up there at the top of the list of the worst things to happen in life, in my opinion. In those early days, I often asked "Why"? But I've found that question doesn't really help because there's no answer. I'm also learning that things could always be worse. So I'm trying to look for the good in every situation. 'Trying' is the key word.

What can we do to help? 

People have been so incredibly wonderful to us during this time. We get asked this question a lot. Sometimes it stresses me out, honestly, when people ask that. I don't know how to answer or I'm too embarrassed to answer because I don't want to inconvenience other people. My friend, Amanda, wrote on this topic that I think summarizes how I feel. She talks about how just showing up makes a world of difference. I'll let you check it out here.

https://indianapolis.momcollective.com/parenting-perspectives/how-to-be-a-friend-when-the-big-c-word-hits/?fbclid=IwAR3mi80jO4N3KXiJcjHi7Ox-dSmP7TcoPOJi7nD8XaobyscKX7vE0VcJB8U

Thanks for reading! If you have other questions, post them in the comments and I might do another one of these sometime. 

Musical Playlist, some of my favorite songs that speak to where my soul is lately

Faithful God--I Am They

You're Gonna Be Ok--Jenn Johnson

Another in the Fire--Hillsong UNITED 

You Already Know--JJ Heller 

Jesus Will Meet You There--Steven Curtis Chapman 

Graves into Gardens--Elevation Worship

You Alone feat. Lauren Daigle--North Point Worship